Learning Leadership

Books I Read in 2011

It is often said that leaders are readers which I believe is true.

Because leaders lead, they need to be on the cutting edge of new ideas and strategies for their areas of work. This means they should constantly be attending conferences, reading books, and listening to teachings.

In 2011 I kept a list of books I read so I could share them with you. Here's a list of the books I read in 2011.

Made to Stick by Chip & Dan Heath
The Hidden Power of Electronic Culture by Shane Hipps
How to Read the Bible for All It's Worth
Bridges to Contemplative Living (verson 1)
Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor
Coming Back Stronger by Drew Brees
An Introduction to the Bible by Christian Hauer and William Young
Using God's Resources Wisely by Walter Brueggemann
Experiencing Ministry Supervision
Culture Making by Andy Crouch 
The Essence of the Church by Craig Van Gelder
Introducing the Missional Church by Alan Roxburgh and M. Scott Boren 
Becoming Who You Are by James Martin, SJ
David: A Man of Passion and Destiny by Charles Swindoll
When Necessary Use Words by Mike Pilavachi
More Ready Than You Realize by Brian McLaren
Transforming Discipleship by Greg Ogden
Attachments by Slinton & Sibcy
The Grace of God by Andy Stanley
Quitter by Jon Acuff
Pastoral Ministry According to Paul by James Thompson
Jesus Driven Ministry by Ajith Fernando 
Billy Graham in Quotes with Franklin Graham and Donna Lee Toney
Domestic Violence by Al Miles
Nelson's Minister's Manual 
The Scrolls from the Dead Sea by Edmund Wilson
Lead Your Boss by John Baldoni 

Question: What was the best book you read in 2011 and why?

What I Learned in 2011: Get Enough Sleep (but not too much)

Today is the final post of my series sharing with you what I learned in 2011. I hope you have found it helpful and have been able to glean some good information.

Another thing I learned in 2011 is that I need to get enough sleep (but not too much).

As I have grown older I have noticed that sleep is more important to the work I do. I do not necessarily attribute this to my age, but more to the type of work I now do which requires more conscious thought. 

Years ago most of the work I completed was task focused work such as running meetings, producing a newsletter, calling volunteers, etc. Now I have shifted to doing more thought work in creating books, Bible studies, and giving talks. Because that work takes conscious effort to think good thoughts and form those thoughts into something that can be taught, I need more sleep.

On Friday evenings is when I have noticed lack of sleep negatively affecting my ability to work the most. Friday evenings I am normally tired and wiped-out after a long week of working. When I sit down at my desk at 8 PM on a Friday night to try and develop a lesson or do some writing for my blog I notice two things:

1. My thoughts come slower
2. My thoughts are not as clear

No other reason would cause these two things to happen in my work besides the fact that I am emotionally, physically, and intellectually exhausted.

Thus, I have noticed that my work requires I receive enough sleep on a regular basis. Yes, I can get by a night or two on several hours of sleep if I really have to, but I need to focus on getting between six and eight hours of sleep every night. Everyone is different so how much sleep you need is something you will need to gage on your own for how much sleep you might need to feel refreshed and equipped for work. 

I would also like to share that you do not want to get too much sleep. Like anything else in life there needs to be a balance. You need to receive the amount of sleep that allows you to feel refreshed the next day, but that also does not give you too much sleep. The Bible book of Proverbs is full of advice that too much sleep is not good because lazy people love to sleep which eventually leads to their downfall and poverty. 

With that said, sleep is important for everyone to receive in order to feel good and be able to give our best effort in life.

Question: How much sleep do you need and how do you make sure you get it?

What I Learned in 2011: Do What Your Job Needs, Not Just What You Are Asked

Another thing I learned in 2011 is to do what your job needs, not just what you are asked.

This experience happened last spring when I realized I needed to learn Spanish for my job at United Way of Stanislaus County. Because I work with a local agricultural cannery every spring I knew it would be beneficial to speak and understand Spanish. In past years I had coworkers who would go out with me and help with the cannery, but because of limited staff I realized that I needed to learn to speak Spanish. Thus, I embarked on my journey of learning Spanish. Everyday I studied vocabulary words, I talked with coworkers in Spanish, and I listened to Spanish radio stations while driving.

After months of studying, much help from my workers, and lots of courage I began giving presentations in Spanish for work. It was tough to do, but it needed to be done as part of my job. No one asked me to study Spanish or told me that I needed to learn it, I simply realized that speaking Spanish is what I needed to be able to do for my job, and I took initiative towards making that happen.

The response from my supervisor and my coworkers was very encouraging because they saw that I had taken initiative do something that was needed for my job without having to be told. Everyone knows that it is very difficult to learn a language so when I took the steps to make that happen I believe it showed others I work with that we (as employees) have a responsibility to do what needs to be done for our job, not just what we are asked to do.

From a supervisor perspective, this is something that they love. They love it when they have employees and members of their team who do things without being asked. In fact, bosses hate it when they have to ask their employees multiple times for the same information or to complete a task. Leaders are doers and they want to move forward so they appreciate it when a follower (such as myself) takes the initiative to do something that helps the organization keep moving forward.

Question: What is an example from your work where you did what your job needed, not just what you were asked?

What I Learned in 2011: Relax on Your Vacation

Another lesson I learned in 2011 is to rest on your vacation.

This past Christmas I was fortunate to spend 11 days on vacation in Alaska with my family. It was an awesome time and I am grateful that my job allows me have to spend on vacations and have time away from work. 

I have learned that when I take vacations I need to relax.

Many times here on the Learning Leadership Blog I have mentioned that leaders often work very hard because they are passionate about what they do. Because leaders have a vision for what they want to accomplish and the change they want to create in the world it causes them to work long hours and take very little time off. I am this same way. When on vacation I want to work, work, and work a little more. However, I have learned to channel that drive and tone it down while on vacation.

Through the years I have realized the importance of taking time off to relax and recharge because it helps prevent burnout which is something nonprofit leaders encounter much too often.

While on vacation I have allow myself to simply have no rules. When preparing to go on vacation I might think about a few things I want to do while on vacation and work on, but I create no "I need to get this done" agendas to accomplish. If I get work done, great. If not, then that is okay too.

For me I have found this formula most productive for me while on vacation:

1. Wake up before anyone else to enjoy my quiet time alone
2. Work for a little while under everyone in the house begins to wake up
3. Engage in family activities for the rest of the day
4. Later in the evening maybe sneak away to read or do some work

The key here is that I have no strict roles or goals of what I am trying to accomplish.

Because you are probably like me, a leader who works very hard, be sure that you take time to rest while on vacation.

Question: How do you take time to relax on vacation?

What I Learned in 2011: Focus on What God Has Told Me, Not What People Tell Me

Another lesson I learned in 2011 is to focus on what God has told me, not what poeple tell me.

When praying to God long and hard about what His will for my life is I have felt Him tell me that He does not want me to worry about what the need is in the world, He simply wants me to pour out what I am learning so others can learn from it too. This means that I should write, teach, and lead so that I may make leaders of everyday men and women around the world.

Part of my internship with Church Assistance Ministry (CAM) is helping me to advance on that by teaching a weekly Bible study for men. Teaching that Bible study definitely lines up with pouring out what I learn to help make leaders. However, sometimes the feedback I receive from the participants does not always affirming that God has told me to teach others. Sometimes at our Bible study the guys tell me they do not understand what I am trying to teach, they are not sure what I am attempting to explain, or they do not see how the questions I am asking relate to the topic of the lesson.

Luckily I have learned that I need to listen to God’s voice, not the voices of people here on earth. When God tells me to do something, I do it to honor and serve him. Even if people here on earth do not agree or are displeased with what I create, I know that the only opinion that matters is God’s. His opinion of the work I do and create is what I care about, and the negative statements of others are not going to slow me down or discourage me. I know what God has told me to do with my life, and I am going to keep doing that regardless of what I am told by people here on earth.

Question: How do you focus on what God has told you instead of what other people tell you?

What I Learned in 2011: Creativity Cannot Be Rushed

Another thing I learned in 2011 is that creativity cannot be rushed.

I think this is a great principle for leaders to understand because leaders have a responsibility to think creatively and foster creative environments for the people they lead.

The principle that creativity cannot be rushed was raised when I wrote my first book. To be honest, I believe my book could have been better if I did not rush so much to complete it. I wrote the book start-to-finish in less than 10 months. Now that I know creativity cannot be rushed I am taking time to write my next book tentatively titled, Serve Those Leaders: A Biblical Guide to Effectively Serving the Leader(s) You Work Under.

Now when I work on projects (especially writing projects) I take plenty of time. When I am working on an article to write or a thought to develop, I take time to allow it to sit and work itself out. I might spend two weeks thinking through and writing out some thoughts for an article. Often when I prepare a Bible study I begin studying the passage of scriptures weeks in advance with the hope to allow what I am thinking to improve and form.

An example of how a leader stops creativity is when he delegates and assigns tasks to others with little notice before the deadline. When a project or task has to be done the same day a leader gives it to someone it causes the person trying to do the work to simply get the job done by the deadline and does not allow the person to think creatively.

Much research has been done showing the positive effects taking time to "sleep on it" when it comes to important decisions or problems that must be solved. When a leader assigns tasks and projects to others with ample time for those team members to think about, work on, and sleep on the work, it allows them to think creatively and perform better work.

In 2011 I definitely learned that creativity cannot be rushed either for myself or the people whom I lead. That is why I try to get an early head start on my work and I do my best to delegate work as soon as I can so others do not have to rush their creativity either.

Question: How do you keep from rushing creativity?

What I Learned in 2011: Work When You Work Best

Another principle I was reminded of in 2011 is to find out when I work best and work 
there. In other words, "Work When You Work Best."

While in college at California State University, Stanislaus I remember learning about how our body has a natural Circadium Rhythm (also known as a "Body Clock"). A Circadium Rhythm is the rhythm your body naturally has and creates based on what you do and when you do it. It happens when our body naturalizes its internal clock to the times we go to bed and wake up, times we eat, etc. After doing specific things to your body at specific times on a regular basis our body begins to expect those things to happen.

Based on your Circadian Rhythm there are specific times of the day that your body is most likely to produce work based on what you do and when. For example, because some people are "Night Owls" and like to stay up late, there body is most likely to operate well in the evening and late night. For others who like to wake up early in the morning, they might be most likely to enjoy working and doing productive work early in the morning.

For me I have learned that I operate and think best from 4:30am until about 11am. That is the time of day when my brain is clear, my thinking is best, and I have a more positive attitude. As a result of knowing that I work best in the morning I do my best to make sure that I am up at 4:30am every single morning to enjoy some quiet time and get a head start on my work. 

This has been important to me as I have important projects that I know need to get done. An example of this is shown that because of my faith I believe I should give my best and most productive time to God. Thus, I do my best to wake up at 4:30am every morning to give Him that time of the day where I think and feel at my best. Another example is that when I have a Bible study lesson I am working to prepare I often try to work on it early in the morning on a Saturday. A final example is that I am writing this blog post on a Saturday morning just after my quiet time and eating breakfast. I knew I wanted to write this post and because writing is one of my core strengths and priorities, I gave myself this time to write the post before checking email, going to the store, doing my dishes, etc. Because I know when I operate best I want to do my most important work when I am at my best. 

This is a principle I learned from Jason Womack years ago and something I hope he has taught on in his new book, Your Best Just Got Better. Even though I learned it years ago from Jason, it has taken me years to find that time of day when I do my best work. I still remember him teaching in a workshop that his most productive time is from 4am to 7am and he makes sure that he gets done what he wants to get done in that time frame.

My suggestion for you as a take away is that you should spend some time thinking about what time of day you are at your best. When do you feel most energetic, excited, think best, and have a positive attitude? Is it early in the morning, around lunch time, or late at night?

Take some time to discover what that time frame is and start to play around with doing different tasks at that time and let me know how it goes!

Question: What when do you work best?

What I Learned in 2011: Take Time to Work on Your Relationship

In 2011 I learned that I need to work on my relationship with my girlfriend.

Having dated my girlfriend for over two years now things are great. We get along well, we 
have fun, and most importantly we share many of the same values of faith and family. While dating I have learned that even though we now know each better, the relationship 
still takes just as much (if not more) work. 

Early when we were dating I thought that the relationship might become easier once we 
learned more about each other, learned each others habits, ways of thinking, and decision 
making tendencies. 

But the part I failed to realize is that relationships take work because the closer you come 
together, the more you have to work to make the relationship successful. As a result of realizing that relationships take work, Jen and I often engage in a weekly "check-in" where we give each other permission to talk about important issues, topics, or problems. I like to call it the "State of the Union" but that is more of a fun phrase. We have also taken taken time to work through some dating books and marriage books to help us be oriented to what we might expect going forward.

The short answer to what I learned in 2011 is that relationships take time and hard work. 
And I need to continue to work on my relationship.

Question: How do you work on your relationship with your spouse?

What I Learned in 2011: Take Time to Play

Today I am continuing my series of 17 blog posts sharing what I learned in 2011.

Another lesson I learned in 2011 is that I need to take time to play.

Taking time to play is something that I have not been very good at in the past. As a leader I have a strong work ethic and passion to serve others. This means I spend lots of time working and not a lot of time playing.

However, I believe it is good that regardless of how busy you are, you need to take some time to play.

Play can be anything from going on a walk, playing video games, riding snow machines in Alaska, or golfing. The important part of taking time to play is that you find something that is enjoyable to you. 

For me, taking time to play is going golfing and riding snow machines or ATVs in Alaska with family. Those are things where I get to enjoy a physical release of tension and I get to enjoy "going for it." I get to take risks, challenge myself, compete against others, and have fun.

In 2011 I learned that I need to take more time to play.

Question: What do you do to "play" and how does it serve you?

What I Learned in 2011: Friends Often Move Away

Another thing I learned in 2011 is that friends often move away.

While living in Turlock I have had two close friends who I spent time with, watched football games with, and celebrated my birthday with. These were some good guys who were fun and definitely were those honest "truth tellers" in my life. They would not hold back to affirm in me when I was doing something right or to tell me they disagreed with a decision I made.

We attended California State University, Stanislaus together and continued to live in Turlock after we were done with school. However, 2011 was a year where they both moved away. One moved to Stockton which is about 45 minutes north while the other moved to San Jose which is about an hour and a half away.

This was a little saddening to me. They were my buddies who I saw about once a week but now they live far away and I hardly see them. But, I realize that this is part of life: things change. 

Things don't stay the same, they are always changing and that is true for friends as well. These guys had life circumstances, family obligations, and careers that moved them away from me. But, that is ok. They did what was best for them and that is what they needed to do.

The learned lesson for me is that friends often move away.

Question: How have you dealt with friends moving away?

Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr Day.

Last year in honor of Dr. King I posted several of my favorite quotes from him. Today I would like to take a break from my blog series, "What I Learned in 2011" to share with you those quotes again. 

Here are the quotes along with a little bit of commentary.

Martin Luther King was a leader who didn't need a formal position to lead.  He led a movement of people passionate about a cause, and he did that with integrity and influence.

Photo credit, The US National Archives

This past year I read the book titled, Martin Luther King on Leadership by Donald Phillips.  It's a pretty good book that tells the biography of MLK while highlighting his leadership influence and principles. The most amazing thing I learned is that MLK was depressed at times. And several other times he considered quiting the Civil Rights Movement.

The stress, pressure, and unsafety he experienced really wore him down. Even though he was extremely passionate about the Civil Rights Movement, he almost gave it all up.  However, millions of people are grateful today that he didn't. And I believe our country is better because of what he did and the movement he led.

To honor Martin Luther King, Jr. on his birthday, I'd like to share with you some of my favorite leadership quotes from him. 

Enjoy. . . 

Even if the world ends tomorrow, I will plant my seed today.

A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.¹

All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.¹

At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.¹

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.¹

Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.¹

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.<sup>2

1</sup> Adapted from brainyquote.com
² Adapted from inspirational-quotes.info 

What I Learned in 2011: Selling Books is a Tough Business

Another thing I learned in 2011 is that selling books is a tough business.

In 2010 I self-published my book, A Day of Hope: Leading Volunteers to Make a Difference in Your Community. I worked very hard on the book for ten months and was very satisfied when it came out. However, once the book came out I quickly learned that selling books is a tough business.

Even as an unknown author I thought I would be able to sell hundreds of books, maybe even thousands. That thought turned out to be much more difficult than I thought.

After a virtual book launch, a book signing, several radio interviews, hundreds of blog posts, many tweets, and Facebook promotions I have sold about 90 books. (Watch out triple digits here I come!) Selling books has been a tough business to work.

The good news is that I don't really want to work in the "book sales business." For me my passion is to write and teach. Selling books is just one way to do that. Luckily for me I am fortunate to have a blog with readers here where I get to share my writing with over a thousand people every single month. And the best part it is free for all of you readers.

Question: What has been your experience with selling books?

What I Learned in 2011: Journal to Get Your Thoughts Out

Another lesson I learned in 2011 is about the benefits of journaling.

The biggest advocate I know about journaling is my friend Jason Womack. Jason has a journal and pen he takes everywhere with him. He jots down quotes, diagrams, and gets his thoughts down on paper to organize, sort, and sift through them. In fact, Jason has a his second book being released next month and I am sure most of the content in that book started in his journal. 

I journal almost every day as part of my morning quite time. I usually journal anywhere from 250 to 500 words with the same pen every single day. (Writing with the same pen is another thing Jason Womack taught me because it helps to trigger your brain's creativity.) When I journal I mostly jot down my thoughts about what I did the previous day, what I experienced, things I have been thinking about, or a goal I am considering to shoot for. 

4 Things Journaling Does for Me

1. Journaling helps to clarify my thinking. When I have to take time to sit down, write out my thoughts, and think through them it helps to clarify my thoughts. There are many times when I am journaling about a problem I am going through and by the time I have journaled about the problem and written it down I have several ideas about how to solve it. The simple act of writing down my thoughts helps my brain to process that information so it can be used in a positive way.
2. Journaling feels like therapy at times. When I am going through a tough stretch of life or have experienced some hurt feelings in the previous days, just journaling about what happened helps me to feel better. The process of taking ten to twenty minutes to journal my thoughts and get them down on paper gives me a sense of relief and helps me let go of those negative feelings.
3. Journaling has been a great way to look back on my life and what I have been going through. One of my favorite activities is to go back through my journals to read about what I was thinking, what goals I had, and what I was feeling. Many times I have went back to my journals after the first couple of nights I took my girlfriend, Jen out on dates. Or when I go back to read my thoughts on what I was going through while leading A Day of Hope or when I read about the accumulation of a book project.
4. Journaling lets your legacy live on. This is one I have not experienced, yet, but I hope my journals one day serve as a way for my kids, grand kids, or others to learn about my life and who I was. Those journals contain my most intimate thoughts and I hope those are beneficial for others to read and relate to at a later time.

In 2011 I learned that I need to journal to get my thoughts out on paper. There are many benefits to journaling and I hope you are able to engage in it as well.

Question: Do you journal? If so, how often and why?

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Note: I recognize that not all people are geared towards journaling. My girlfriend hates to journal because she feels it slows down her thoughts and it does not allow her to think fast enough. That might be a downside to journaling, but I believe it is the upside. The benefit of journaling is that it forces you to slow down and think through you thoughts. It causes you to question if your thoughts even match up to reality, it helps you realize what might have caused your thoughts to take place, and it helps to forget about your thoughts if you get them out of your head and on paper.

What I Learned in 2011: You Can Read the Bible in a Year

Another thing I learned in 2011 is that you can read the entire Christian Bible in one year. I did it and it was more easy than I thought. (If you are looking for a Bible to read, this is the one I use and recommend.)

In February of 2011 I began taking a Spiritual Formation class at Fresno Pacific University where our professor, Jeff Harrington, Ph.D. shared with us that he reads through the entire Bible every single year. Dr. Harrington explained that if you start on January 1st in Genesis 1 and read four chapters a day (which only takes about 15 minutes) you will finish the entire Bible by October.

That sounded doable so I tried it!

In February of 2011 I began reading four chapters a day from my Bible every morning as part of my quiet time routine. By the second week of December I had completed reading the entire Bible in 2011. Yes, there were plenty of days that I did not get to read all four chapters, and there were some days where I did not even read one word of my Bible (but I hate those days). The important thing is that I kept reading day after day after day.

Reading the Bible straight through in a year is good for 4 reasons:

1. It gives you a broad view of the Bible: Instead of just reading a few verses from select parts of the Bible, reading the Bible front to back in large chunks help you to have a context. It helps you understand the "big picture" of what is going on in the culture at that time and what God is trying to accomplish.
2. It helps you see God's whole story: The Bible is simply one big story God has given to us. From Genesis to Revelation it is a story of who God is, why He created us, what He has done for us, and what He plans to do in the future.
3. It deepens your theology: Reading the entire Bible helps you see the Bible in its theological context. When reading from Genesis, then Psalms, then the New Testament you get to read about the same topics talked about by different people in different contexts. All of that adds to your theological understanding of the Bible.
4. It speaks to you and what you are going through: Reading large chunks of God's Word daily allows God to use the stories and teachings in his Word to speak to you directly. Sometimes He will have you read a story that is relevant to what you are going through, if there is a question you are wrestling with He will have you read something that answers it, or He might even given you direction on a decision you have been considering. When you spend time in God's word you are spending time with Him which allows Him to lead and direct you.

Starting on January 1, 2012 I started reading the Bible all the way through again for this year. I started in Genesis 1 and will continue on through until reaching the end of Revelation.

Reading the Bible all the way through in a year has been very beneficial for me and I hope you give it a try in 2012.

Question: How much and often do you read your Bible? (If you don't read a Bible, please share why.)

What I Learned in 2011: Prayer Should be Done a Little Bit Everyday

I often write about the benefits of personal quiet time and prayer here on the Learning Leadership Blog. This past year has taught me that prayer time is important, but most importantly I need to have a little bit of prayer time every day.

Prayer is not something you can do all in one day and say you are good for the week. You can’t pray for two hours on Monday morning and then say you have prayed your time for the entire week. Prayer is personal quiet time devoted to you and God where you can talk to Him, talk with Him, and listen to Him.

For me, I have found that my prayer time is much more beneficial when I pray every day. When I miss a day or take a couple days off from prayer time it always takes me a couple days to get back in touch with God. On the flip side, when I stay committed to waking up early and enjoying quiet time with God every morning for weeks in a row my prayer time is much more beneficial. I feel closer to God, I hear from Him more clearly, and the prayer time refreshes me.

Whether you take time to pray early in the morning or late in the evening the important thing is to take time to pray. Just be sure to pray a little bit everyday.

Question: How do you take time to pray? What does your prayer itme look like?

What I Learned in 2011: Create a “Keys to Success” List

Creating a “Keys to Success” list is something that I did for the first time back in January of 2011. At that time I was about to start school at Fresno Pacific University to earn my degree in Christian Ministry and Leadership (which I am still working on).

Since I work full-time and have a girlfriend I knew I needed to create some type of list that would help me get done what I need to get done and not focus on the things that don’t matter. I needed something that would help me complete school successfully and not lose my family or integrity in the process. In response to that need I created a list of “Keys to Success at FPU for 18 Months.”

That list consists of 10 things I knew I would need to do to be successful at school. Things such as:

1. Get ahead and stay ahead
2. Don’t take school too serious
3. Don’t procrastinate
4. Say “no” to requests of my time to play video games and spend time with friends who don’t enrich me
5. Say “yes” to requests of my time from my girlfriend, sister, mom, dad, and two mentors
6. Flip through my school books as soon as I get them to become familiar with the content
7. Say “no” to requests for donations and volunteer time (exceptions are for A Day of Hope or if Jen wants to enjoy time together volunteering)
8. Post everything I write in school on my blog
9. Make time to study everyday
10. Direct my Bible study time, quiet time, and time with Jen to help me with what we are learning in class

I have been at school at Fresno Pacific University for a year and this Keys to Success list has been very helpful to me. It has helped me to stay on track, stay focused, and most important of all it has given me permission to say “no” to things that are hard to say "no" too.

I am not sure if I will create a “Keys to Success” list for other areas of my life, but I know it has helped me over this past year. I encourage you to look at an area of your life where you might be struggling or need improvement and create a “Keys to Success” list. Identify a few things, five things, or ten things you can do that you know will make you successful in that chosen area. Then, work that list. Review it, memorize it, and allow that list to guide you and your time.

Question: Do you have a list that helps you become successful?

What I Learned in 2011: Make Family a Priority

Another important lesson I learned in 2011 is to Make Family a Priority.

In 2011 I was reminded again for the need to make family a priority. Similar to yesterday’s post that I need to set my own agenda (before others do), making family a priority happens when I am committed to scheduling my family-time first.

Making family a priority is not easy for most people. For me, I am very driven and an extremely hard worker. Once I get my mind locked on something I work towards it and rarely stop. However, that can be harmful when I allow my dedication to my work creep in on the time I normally have scheduled for family.

For me I make family a priority by spending a minimum of one hour a day with my girlfriend. We often enjoy dinner together, go for walks, or just sit and talk on the couch. On weekends we spend more time together such as walking to the local Starbucks, enjoying a hike, or simply driving out of town. I also have a standing lunch appointment with my sister every Monday. We enjoy a quick lunch while we talk about what we have been up to and what is new. Even though my parents live over 3,000 miles away in Alaska, I usually call them or they call me a couple times a week to catch up (and to get the latest fishing report from my dad) and see what they are doing.

I know lots of people who have good intentions of making family a priority but the demands of their job and need to earn a living can sometimes nudge out that family time that is so important for a spouse and kids. It is very easy to justify coming home late and missing dinner for the sake of providing financially for the family. I am sure that is okay on occasion, but to have it become a habit where work takes priority over quality family time will be harmful long term.

Several times here on the Learning Leadership Blog I have written about the impact of the book, Choosing to Cheat on my life. It has probably been one of the three most impactful books I have ever read. This book by Andy Stanley is a great book for any busy leader to read about how anyone with a professional leadership job chooses to “cheat.” Either you cheat your job or you cheat your family because someone is going to get cheated when work and family collide. You can purchase the book here from Amazon.

Whatever your process is to make family a priority, be sure to find a way to make it happen. Too many people in the world come to the end of their life and regret that they did not spend more time with the family members they love.

Question: How do you make family a priority?

What I Learned in 2011: Set Your Own Agenda

Today’s blog post is the beginning of a series of posts of me sharing with you what I learned in 2011. I did this same series of blog posts last year and I felt it was beneficial for me to think through and reflect on what I have learned from the year. The benefit for you as a reader is that you get to glean a few things I have learned that you might be able to apply in your own life.

As John Maxwell says, “We don’t learn from experience, we learn from evaluated experience.” I agree with Mr. Maxwell that in order to learn from what we have been through we need to take time to think through it and find out what we learned.

Today’s post is about how I learned in 2011 to “set your own agenda.”

Set your own agenda is something I was reminded of again in 2011 because of the many requests for my time that I have. You don’t have to be a fancy CEO or well known pastor to have lots of people requesting your time. A mom running a household has more requests for her time a day than most people do at work.

When it comes to your agenda and schedule, you need to set it. You need to take control of your time and what what you do with it because if you don’t, someone else will.

Before allowing anyone else to schedule time on your agenda, set your agenda yourself based on what you need to spend your time doing in order to be healthy. For me, this starts first with making sure I have an hour of alone time in the morning before having to get ready for work. That hour alone allows me to journal, read my Bible, and pray which helps me feel close to God and aligned with His will for me life. I also allow time for my girlfriend which is about an hour a day during the week, Saturday evenings, and all day Sundays (sometimes I alternate that Saturday and Sunday schedule). Then I make sure that I schedule time to study for school, time to meet with my mentor who I meet with every week, and a little time for friends. Those are the things I need to do that help me stay grounded and feel healthy.

To be a healthy and productive leader you must determine what your agenda is and only allow people to change it on rare occasions. Emergencies do happen, a family member might get sick and interrupt what you had planned, but those are okay. As long as you are able to set your agenda for yourself before others are allowed to dictate your time, you are on your way to being a proactive and healthy leader.

Question: How do you set your own agenda?

Happy 2012

Happy 2012 to you.

I hope your Christmas and New Year's was spent with friends and family.

I enjoyed a couple of weeks with family in Alaska but am now back to working.

Tomorrow I will begin a series of blog posts sharing with you about what I learned in 2011. Then, after that series is completed I have some lessons from the life of David from 1 Samuel of the Bible to share.

In 2012 I hope to write longer blog posts and post more of them as a benefit to you.