Today I have a guest blog post for you from Greg Wright. Greg's bio is below. Enjoy the article!
UNDER THE INFLUENCE: How Losing Control, Actually Makes Room for Us to Courageously Lead
by Greg Wright
“Is this the right thing?
I’m not sure that this is the right thing…
This can’t be the right thing….
Is it?”
I hate vacillating. Yet, as I get older, I’m finding that I do more and more of it. It seems like the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do used to present itself much more clearly. But now, the right thing to do hides behind the hard thing to do, and the wrong thing to do hides behind the easy thing to do. One way that I can always figure out if I’m making the “right” decision is based on the level of difficulty. The easy thing appeals to the lazy side of me. The hard thing to do pushes up against the lazy side of me, and says, “Don’t worry about doing the right thing. Let someone else do it.”
There are two sides of us, constantly at odds: Our emotional side and our responsible side. Emotional people wait until they feel good about something, and then do it. Responsible people just do something, and then feel good about it. But, the doing something takes more than responsibility, it takes courage.
If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that I control nothing (there are times when I can’t even control myself). But, I do have influence over a lot of things. The question is, “Am I influencing positively or negatively?”
My advice to other men and Dad’s like me–let go of what you can’t control, and embrace what you can. What is in our control is how we influence the people around us. One of the most important things we can do to become a better man and father is to focus on becoming a good model for our sphere of influence. For this, a good recipe is to mix one part courage with one part influence.
To courageously influence, simply means affecting someone’s thinking or actions by showing the ability to face difficulty or uncertainty without being overcome by fear. Furthermore, in order to courageously influence others, it’s essential that we’re fully involved with and dedicated to whatever task has been set before us.
Let me share the story of Roger Bannister as an example:
In 1903, British Olympic coach Harry Andrews made the statement, “The mile record is four minutes, 12.75 seconds. This record will never be broken.”
A fierce intellectual debate took place over several decades about whether the human body had reached its full potential. Medical evidence was even offered based on bones, muscles and joints that proved a human being simply could not run any faster than four minutes, 12.75 seconds.
On May 6, 1954, in 15 mph crosswinds and 25 mph gusts, British runner Roger Bannister broke the record of the four-minute mile. His mile came in at three minutes, 59.4 seconds. Needless to say it was an impressive feat.
What was even more impressive? Later that year, two other men ran a four-minute mile, and in the next year, 236 people also did the “impossible.”
As the gusty day proved, Roger couldn’t control anything around him. The only thing he could control was his own performance. Through that controlled tour-de-force, Roger Bannister courageously influenced the decisions and the performance of others.
The take away? In order to succeed in our lives at home, at work, and in life, we need to be active members of our families, our communities and our team of coworkers at work. We need to be fully engaged in all steps of the process of raising a family, succeeding at work, and becoming a better man. Don’t just stand on the wayside and wait for things to happen, or wait for validation that you’re doing the right thing. Take charge, step up to the plate, and don’t be afraid to courageously influence those around you.
If you’re not feeling completely confident yet, don’t worry. Start with small steps, by laying out what goals you want to accomplish for yourself, both at work and at home. Then, think about what you can do better in both of these areas, what extra effort you can put forth to help you accomplish your goals. Most importantly, take each challenge in your life head on, & treat it as an opportunity to step up to the plate and courageously influence those around you.
The truth is Roger Bannister didn’t just wake up one day and decide to break the four-minute mile. It was only through goal setting, training and perseverance – factors in his control – which positioned him to break the record and go on to become Sir Roger Bannister.
So, let me wrap up by asking you a question: What’s your four-minute mile?
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Greg Wright is the president of The Wright Track, www.thewrighttrack.com, a biz dev and sales growth consultancy based in Austin, TX. The father to four teen girls, Greg shares with other dads his secret to pursuing an intentional relationship with your daughter in “Daddy Dates: A Road Map for Any Dad to Raise a Strong and Confident Daughter.” (Thomas Nelson; $16.99; available where all books are sold; www.daddydatesthebook.com)
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